Walk through the World Awake and Aware

What does it mean to be awake and aware?
It means to notice,
to listen,
to really hear,
to see,
to take in
the messages that are all around me.

It means to be conscious,
to notice how things affect me
and how what I do impacts others.

It means to choose consciously
what I do,
what I am around,
where I put my energy.

It means to be wise,
to listen to my own inner guidance,
to heed the red flags,
to breathe,
to learn,
to grow.

It means to face reality
and not sleep in denial.

And when I see reality,
to consciously decide how I will show up.

Who am I?
Who do I want to be?
Who is my best self, and
how do I access her no matter what?

Who do I align myself with?
Who drains me?
How do I stay in the right arena?

When I am awake and aware,
my mind can sleep, and
my heart will drive,
and I will end up where I am
     meant to be. 


(thank you to Robin Higgins for teaching me about being awake and aware many years ago!) 

Find the Truth

Find the truth...
In the midst of all the stories,
In the midst of all the rage,
In the midst of all the FEAR.

Dig deep.
It's in there - 
     inside your protected heart.

It's there.
Find it, 
Own it, and 
It will set you free.

Find your truth 
And live it. 

Numb

I can't even breathe.
There is no space for it.
I don't even know what I feel.
His intensity, his rage
     consume the space.

There is no space for me.
My body rigid,
My mind blank,
Trembling, unaware, and
    all too aware all at once.

No idea what to do,
No idea where to turn
     or how to feel.
I can't even cry
     on this horrible, unimagineable night.

I feel my heart shrivelling
     inside of me.
I feel the walls going up.
All I need to do now
     is survive.

No thought,
No hurt - it's too deep.
If I cry, the floodgates will open
And I will be consumed
     by what's in front of me,
     by what's incomprehensible,
     by what's real.

Numb....Simply numb. 

The What ifs

The What ifs can make you wonder.

The What ifs can make you cry.

The What ifs can stop you in your tracks,

without even knowing why.

The What ifs can be paralyzing –

they can take your breath away

and make you question yourself.

The What ifs can stop dreams

                from becoming reality.

The What ifs can keep us stuck…

What we know is safer – why push our luck?

HOWEVER, the What ifs can also sometimes

show up as a spark –

an inspiration,

an inkling,

a yearning deep down in our soul…

that creates a stirring,

an awakening of something long lost,

or long forgotten.

And, those What ifs can send us into

a land of new possibilities,

new dreams, new adventures…

It all depends on which What ifs you let into your life.

Which ones have a voice?

Which ones have a power?

Are they driven by fear and dread?

or are they driven by hope and anticipation?

Do they come from within or

do they come from others’ thoughts or voices?

Listen to the What ifs of the heart –

answer their call,

and the others will become more quiet,

more unfamiliar, more unnecessary over time.

How often do we let the pressure of what others think or want

drive us away from the amazing What ifs of our own Spirit –

the one that already knows the answers?

What if we listened to our hearts?

What if we followed our dreams?

What if?

What if we embraced each day with gratitude

for the gifts it brings?

What if we seek the nuggets of wisdom and perfection

in each and every experience, including the uncomfortable,

challenging, or scary ones?

What if we quieted the noisy mind and listened to our perfect inner guidance?

What if then?

Who knows?

Parenting: The Grand Delusion

Parenting...

We enter into it naively:
thinking that we have so much to 
teach these little perfect angels.

We dream of fantasy images-
     first steps,
     first dance,
     graduation,
     college,
     marriage,
     grandchildren.


We never dream or imagine
     what could go wrong - 
     the dark days,
     the anger,
     the lies, 
     the resentment,
     the fear and worry...


We imagine that we are in control.


We believe that we have an influence.


We feel that our children reflect us.


And, yet, the reality is
     these children are souls on their own life path,
     with their own lessons,
     their own pitfalls,
     their own will.


We do the best we can
     to share values, 
     to give love,
     to teach respect,
     to model a good work ethic.


And, ultimately,
     it falls at their feet - 
     it's their life...


What will they do with it?


Which paths will they take?
  
How long will it take them to figure things out?


Will they get there - EVER?


Letting go is the hardest lesson
     that our children teach us,
     and, yet, it is the greatest gift
     we can give to ourselves
          and to them.


It is the only way
     and it is so hard.  


When we cut the cord, we set ourselves free. 

The Insidious Monster

A monster
     that creeps up out of nowhere,
     slowly gaining strength,
     slowly taking over
     until the spirit does not
            stand a chance

Leading you to forget who you are,
     all your aspirations,
     all your dreams,
     all your ambition -
           GONE

Nothing matters except
     your next date with the monster

No one else matters -
     this is your greatest love.

It beckons endlessly,
     attacking in a moment of weakness,
     tempting with its insidous lure,
     deceiving with promises of joy.

Let it Be OK

Whatever I don't understand...
     Let it be OK.

Whatever I judge to be wrong...
     Let it be OK.

Whatever I am worried about...
     Let it be OK.

Whatever others do that angers me...
     Let it be OK.

Whatever I do that angers or confuses me...
     Let it be OK.

Just let it be OK...